The Swagger News

The customer isn't king. You are.

"You're too nice" she says, the metallic clink of her spoon rattling the coffee cup.

"Whatever" he says. "If they don't like me, they won't call me". 

"Daniel, it's not a popularity contest." she says.

Looking down at the menu, he squints. The California sun pierces the diner's big, square windows. 

"So what am I supposed to do, just be a bitch like you?!" 

"Is that what you think?" she asks.

"Yeah, you're kinda bitchy. Sometimes I can tell they're annoyed." 

"They're not annoyed Dan, they're LEARNING. That's what they want. Not a new best friend".

"Stella, they look pretty pissed to me." he says, fumbling with his menu. 

The waiter approaches, interrupting the tension. 

"What can I get you guys today?" he asks. 

"I'll have the Ceaser Salad and an ice tea" she says. 

"Large?" he asks, but it's more of a statement.

"Sure" she answers.

The waiter shifts his gaze to Daniel.

"Um, I think I'll have...the club sandwich looks pretty good. But those chicken wraps are callin' my name...I'm not sure...ummm" 

"The Denver Omelette is amazing. He does it with shrimp." the waiter offers, grabbing his blue pen. 

"Really?" Daniel says, looking up. "Done. I'll have one a those." 

"Anything to drink?" 

"Um...yeah...how 'bout a..."

"Jesus" Stella blurts, the fierce sun painting dancers on her face. 

"Alright. I'll have a Coke." he says. 

Without a word, the waiter scurries off. 

Daniel sweeps his forearm across the table, brushing imaginary crumbs onto the dusty diner floor. He looks at her. A long silence.

"You don't even see it do you?" she says.

"What?" 

"Dude, you have no idea what you want. You're like a little kid. HE had to tell you what to get!" 

"What, I can't take the guy's advice? He frigging works here. He should know." 

"Exactly." she says as the waiter brings her large ice tea. Ripping open a pack of Sweet & Low, she drops it into the tea, forming mini piles of white powder atop the ice cubes. She stirs in quick circles, the spoon clinking against the glass. 

"As soon as the waiter TAUGHT you what was good, you went for it. You don't give a shit if he's nice" she says.

"He's kind of a dick, actually" Daniel says, looking towards the cash register. The waiter, his back turned, flirts shamelessly with a customer. "Check him out Stella, guy's workin' it." 

"No doubt. I bet he makes more on tips than anybody else in here. He knows exactly who needs his hand held. I bet you didn't even notice that your Denver Omelette with SHRIMP, is the most expensive thing on the menu?" Stella says knowingly.

"Um, no, I...didn't, actually." Daniel says.

"Look Daniel, nowadays we're so busy trying to get everybody to click the damn like button that we miss the boat. We cave as soon as there's a little push back. I mean, I'm not sayin' you gotta be an asshole. No, definitely don't do that. Then I wouldn't want to hang out with you. I LIKE you. But you gotta have a little SWAGGER, and I'm gonna buy my lunch from the guy who teaches me something. " Stella says, thumping her glass down gently.

"So I'm NOT supposed to hug my customers?" he asks. 

"Don't hug them. Teach them. That'll really get 'em to call you back." 

The waiter brings the food. Deftly sliding the plates onto the table, he locks eyes with Daniel.

"Can I get you something else to drink? I bet you've never had our 10 dollar milkshake. It's AMAZING." 

The sure fire way to have fun at work today.

Last week I asked you a simple question: 

What do you want most for your career in 2012? 

45% of you said ENJOYMENT. (30% said work|life balance and 25% money).

I guess we really do just wanna have fun. 

But how?

Sometimes fun at work is scoring that new, six figure account. Sometimes fun is a sexy business trip to that industry event in Cannes. Sometimes it's joining the pretty young things from Marketing for Red Bull and Vodka on Friday eve. Sometimes. 

But there is one thing that is ALWAYS fun at work.

It is always fun to absolutely blow people's minds with your brilliant, life changing insights. 

In other words, to add value to another person by teaching them something they didn't know. 

An example: your client did not realize that educational training is tax free in your country. By informing her of this tasty little fact, you just saved her a bunch of cash flow. In the process you also just increased the likelikhood of selling her some of that educational training. Fun. 

One more example: your colleague was unaware that vacation days could be taken over again if you get sick during the actual vacation. "No way?" she says. You just made her day. Those wasted days spent bent over with the flu during Christmas break weren't wasted at all. Fun. 

We experience true enjoyment when we add real value and meaning to another person's life.

So today, when you punch the clock at work, find a way to blow someone's mind.  You don't need to be obnoxious about it. Nobody likes an aggressive know it all. But make it clear, you're here to TEACH them something they didn't know. Everybody wins. 

Feel free to share your teachings with all of us. That's what Swagger Friday's are all about. 

love, 

~ dave

Papa, why do you speak that stupid English?

I'm standing in Timo's 1st grade classroom. As the bell rings, I kiss him goodbye. 

"T, have fun today. I'll come pick you up later" I say.

Before the words have even left my mouth, several kids look over, their heads tilted like curious puppy dogs. 

"Timo, waarom praat je Papa zo grappig?" they ask. (Timo, why does your Papa talk so funny?" 

By speaking to him in English, as I always do, I've made him the center of attention. Most days he's fine with that (like father, like son). Today, though, he's not in the mood. He doesn't wanna feel different. 

"Papa", he says, looking up at me seriously, "waarom praat je dat stomme Engels?" (Papa, why do you speak that stupid English?)

Good question. 

Because I want him to have the key to every city in the world. 

We are primates. As such, we have to socialize. We don't have a choice. It's coded in our DNA. Why do you think 'social media' is so huge? Because we're just monkeys that want to 'talk'. Words, English words in particular, are the vehicle. The key to every city in the world. 

Would you have more freedom if you spoke confident English?

More fun?

More connection?

More Swagger?

Yes!

Isn't it time for you to start sharing? Creating. Connecting. Inspiring. In English - the world language.

"But I don't get the chance to speak English and I don't need it for work," you say?

That's exactly why you want to do my brand new English course. Now is your chance to speak:  Click on the link for all the details. 

House of English Discussion Group 2012.

I have 2 spots left. I look forward to working with you. 

Love, 

~ dave

How to bounce back.

When was the last time you disappointed your client?

Let down your kids?

Lost the big game? 

Angered your partner? 

I don't care who you are, if you take risks, any risks at all, you're gonna screw up. 

It's how we deal with it that matters. 

If you really wanna bounce back, do this: 

1. FIX THE PROBLEM AND SAY SORRY.

After you mess up, for example by accidentally sending a hundred emails to the wrong people, apologize and fix the glitch that caused the mistake in the first place. Make sure to say sorry. (Don't grovel though, it's annoying).

2. ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU SCREWED UP.

This may seem simple. But, then again, simplicity IS rocket science. Say these words to yourself: "I'm allowed to mess up. It's OK. It means I'm actually on the court instead of screaming from the sidelines."

3. GET ON WITH IT.

You might have to power through some guilt. Embarassment. Frustration. Whatever. Do it: power through it. Learn the necessary lessons and don't look back. 

4. PLAY THE 'POOR ME' CARD. 

The 'poor me' card is a sly seductress. It's so easy to wallow in self pity, beating yourself up, and moping around. It's easy because it's so satisfying. If you're gonna take this route, TAKE IT. Milk it. Be as pathetic as you can possibly be. 

On one condition:

You get to play the 'poor me' card for 24 hours. After that, suck it up. If you can't, get some help - professional or otherwise. But don't carry that gloom around for too long.  

As the Dutch say, "mistakes are made where work is done." Make that your Swagger mantra for today. 

Love, 

Dave